greetings people.!

i'm still as sick as ever. having bad cough and flu. the cough is worse than bad i shall say. it's almost every morning i coughed till i choke and suffocate. had this sickness since way before the news of the swine flu. somehow i feel embarassed whenever i wanna cough and/or sneeze in public as people might move a distance away from me assuming i caught the swine flu.

i've yet to see the doctor as people in this house just don't bother of how sick i am. they thought it's just a normal cough. this morning when daddy heard me coughing, he quickly rushed to my room and literally patted my back. told me not to go to work and that he and mummy will bring me to the doctor tonyte. but there's a death ceremony of my granddad's sister over at the grandparents house. and since i'm sick, i'm left at home now, alone. so i'm still in doubt of whether i'm going to the doctor or not.

been working opening three days straight. including tomorrow. a last minute call from lynn at 5.10 in the early morning asking me a favour to change shift with her. and so i had to do opening even how sick i am. lynn is having diarrhea. when lynn came to work, around two in the afternoon, i went home. informed the manager that i'm sick and wanting to be released early. so i was home since afternoon just now slacking around and slept.

these days, the thought of death never fails to enter my mind. i don't know why. i'm afraid that my tyme will come due to this sickness i'm having. imagine every morning you cough your throat out feeling choke and suffocate ? it's torture and tiring i tell you. and when you feel lyke vomitting yet nothing comes out, it's torture. seriously.

enough about my sickness, been having a weird dream about a recent ex of mine. and i hope it ain't gonna happen. for the passed months and even years, whatever i dreamt about, it tend to happen the day after i had the dream. it's weird. but it's happening. and this tyme, i hope it won't happen. i don't wanna suffer the heart pain anymore. i'm happy with my love lyfe now. just planning ahead. how far will i go with this sickness ? hmms. andy bf has been worried about me whenever i told him to move on and that my tyme will come. he told me not to think about nonsensical stuff. hais. it's not nonsense. it's a fact ? we never know when our tyme will come. he's just afraid of losing me as much as i'm afraid of losing me. sweet ? it's heartache. =)

can i scream and shout ? i need my parents to bring me to the doctor. this cough is killing me slowly. and the throat irritation is damn itching. grr.! i cried my heart out just now. was feeling emotional. i need some attention from you ryte now. i know i tend to be selfish at tymes. i know you're tired. i'm sorie to disturb you.

ouh. before i forget.

sorie i forgot about your birthday dear friend. i hope i'm not too late in wishing you. congrats for passing your attachment and i hope you'll graduate from school with flying colours result yeah.

it's super sudden that [insert name here] texted me in the afternoon just now. talked to him for awhile. it's nice to hear his voice again. it's been such a long tyme since we last communicate with each other. things won't be the same anymore now. i've move on. flashbacks annoys me. *scold vulgarities here* -.-"

i guess that's all for now. i'm tired. tomorrow need to do opening regardless of how sick i am. so yeah.

take kaires people.